Monday, January 19, 2009
its the start of a new year
but everything seems to be going wrong...
sigh.i feel kinda depressed.not really.but you know wat i mean.
today,_______ accused ying yuan and me of cheating in some kind of no mark quiz...i mean like,it was really confusing.one moment she says we werent and that it was just our body language.the next moment she says we did.like wth???cant _______ make up his/her mind.and i could do was just nod and nod.and the way _______ looks at you,it really makes you feel horrid inside.yah.anw,hope i can forget it.then we had bio and we had to light the bunsen burner.i was REALLY freaking out,i know i sound like a coward but its true.i was like "omg!what is wrong with me" cos everybody just seemed so brave and stuff esp tanya.sigh.i just feel really sucky inside now and like a loser.then charis just called me and told me that she's not gonna take bowling anymore and it just seems like my world is falling apart piece by piece.
the only gd thing that happened today prob was that i finally finished learning hiragana.sometimes,i feel like i put up a wall between myself and others including my family.its like,i dont really show my feelings.i just cry inside and i feel so miserable.you prob know me as a person that can be ego and domineering(with my close frens)or maybe someone is fun to tease and stuff,but i ask myself,is that the real me???i really dont know.
ah well,i think i shall just pray to God and just forget abt all this.i srsly need to find the courage in myself and maybe just be more true to myself...
@ 5:42 AM
let the wind lead me,
fly me to a place with no sadness.